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Earrings for Grandchild: When Mom Says No to Grandma

When our granddaughter was born, the first gift I purchased was the smallest pair of diamond earrings I could find.  Only real diamonds would do.  With a generous $150 budget, as with everything I do, I checked all the websites.


Ross-Simons, Fortunoffs, Bloomingdales ….Then, I checked www.retailmenot to see if there were any further discounts or coupons available. Yes, $150 diamond earrings found, wrapped in pink.


Both our daughters got their ears pierced when they were very young.  A bald baby girl does well with earrings– no one mistakes the baby for a boy.  It is easier to pierce ears of a baby than an older child.  I could go on and on with great reasons but all were lost on my daughter, the mom.  Nothing I did or said would convince her to pierce our beautiful bald baby granddaughter’s ears.


I think finally, after her being tired of hearing about earrings, my daughter told me my granddaughter could pierce her ears when my granddaughter asked for it.  Very clever.  Shut me up but not for as long as my daughter expected.


As soon as I taught my granddaughter to say, “Mema,” I was working on earrings.  I would point to anyone who had pierced ears and be excited and cheer.  I think the machinations were lost on a beautiful near bald eighteen month old.  My daughter just smiled.

I switched tactics.  My daughter had diamond earrings in her ears.  I keep asking my granddaughter if she wants to look just like mommy who is beautiful with her pierced ears.  Mommy may have a great new dress on, but I am pointing out how the beautiful diamond earrings just make the outfit.  Now at six, my beautiful granddaughter, with long flowing thick hair, just gives me her mother’s smile.  I can only hug her, as if I need a reason to hug her.


One of my best friends has a granddaughter who is a year older than mine who just got her ears pierced.  The child kept begging her mother and her mother finally relented.  I am so jealous.  My friend said something that had not occurred to me.  Her granddaughter was the first in her class to get her ears pierced.  Ah! No one in my granddaughter’s class has pierced ears.  It is hard to be the first one in the class for anything.  What self confidence my friend’s granddaughter shows.


Now I am planning a conspiracy.  My friend is going to send me pictures of her granddaughter so happy with her new pierced ears.  I am going to use them to open a dialogue with my daughter and granddaughter on self confidence and being a style leader.  I have come to accept that my daughter has learned my number. I think I may have to accept that my granddaughter has my number too–at age six.  The great manipulator grandma has been out- manipulated. I am proud of their learning so well.


May all family issues be as trivial as whether to pierce ears.  May all family issues be handled with such finesse, calm and ease.  I always tell my children when they are worried about a grandchild not meeting a developmental milestone as they should not to worry as the grandchild will be doing it by the time he or she walks down the aisle.  Pierced ears is hardly a developmental milestone but I guess I am going to have to spring for larger diamond earrings for the wedding!



Joy,



Mema




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