A young friend whose youngest is a freshman in college shared her current nightmare. Her daughter has a promiscuous roommate and has caught the roommate and boyfriend repeatedly in bed. I tried not to laugh when she told me her daughter was mortified when she walked into the room once and the boyfriend grabbed her daughter’s favorite photograph of her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend to cover his private parts. The daughter hates her classes and everything about school and wants to come home. My friend said she, the mother, is miserable. She said she cries every day and prays every day for things to change and for her daughter to be happy.
We, at the same time said, “you are only as happy as your unhappiest child!” I first heard this quote on a Law and Order episode when the lieutenant said this to two parents in a scene. Boy, is it true. Our children’s unhappiness affects our happiness.
So, now as Grandma, there is a double whammy. My children share their problems which affect me until resolution. My grandchildren share their problems which affect me until their resolution.
So, what can I do as Grandma? I do what I can to bring happiness to their lives. Bringing happiness to their lives brings happiness to mine.
My friend called back and said her daughter called and said a sorority wants her to rush, she likes the girls, and life has turned around. Isn’t it true that our children and grandchildren are quick to tell us their trauma and slow to tell us of the positive resolution?
Let us grandmas remember we are only as happy as our unhappiest child and grandchild and we should affirmatively continue to remind all of our children and grandchildren of the happiness in their lives with
Joy,
Mema
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