In the Miami Herald, March 20, 2015, Joe Cardona wrote an editorial about “A Generation between the Young and the Old,” bemoaning his middle age recognition that he is part of the “sandwich generation, “caring for his elderly father and raising a child. He says he is one of a large sandwich generation, “according to a Pew Research Study conducted in 2013, nearly half of Americans in their 40s and 50s have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child.”
Well, if he, in what used to be middle aged is of the “sandwich generation,” those of us Boomer grandparents, who are the new middle aged, are of the triple decker sandwich generation.
We are not dealing with a parent about age 65. We are the parent about age 65. We have the distinct privilege and honor to be dealing with a parent in their 80s and 90s. As GG (great grandmother) says, age 65-84 is young old, and at young old you can travel and enjoy life in good health and vigor. GG says that after age 84 is “old old,” and life changes. One spends more time at the doctor, and less time traveling. She says to take advantage of being young old, as old old is old. Mr. Cardona says that time with his father “becomes three hour history lessons.” This Grandma loves hearing about family and history from GG. Maybe the advanced age makes us appreciate how much little time we may have left to enjoy those hours together.
Advanced age comes with its challenges, according to GG, and we are ever more vigilant to learn and help her. We recently learned that a 90 year old should be considered like a newborn when it comes to medication, and potential overmedication. We should not expose our old old parents to anything we would not expose a newborn to. Overmedication of GG took three months to dissipate. We won’t let that happen again. Surprisingly, doctors are basing pain medication dosage on studies done on people in their fifties, so dealing with ninety year olds is new science, where the studies are just not there. GG’s independence and living alone and driving at age 90 is an area where we “children” remain ever vigilant. Stress upon those of us young old who are caring for those old old is significantly greater in the “triple decker sandwich generation.” Sorry, Mr. Cardona, but you don’t know what is really ahead of you. We Boomer grandparents are done raising our children, but they are forever our children. This Grandma always speaks of the episode of the television show, Law and Order, where the lieutenant said, “you are only as happy as your happiest child.” How true. Now, however, this Grandma adds a generation. You are only as happy as your happiest child and happiest grandchild. Not only are we of the generation that may be financially supporting grown children, we may be of the generation that is providing financial support to grown children to assist in the raising of, or activities of, grandchildren. We are ready, willing, and yes, able, at young old to assist in the heavy lifting of raising grandchildren whenever we need to be. I understand the numbers of grandparents raising grandchildren is soaring. We Boomer grandparents want to be part of the lives of our families’ different generations. We Boomer grandparents provide respite, support and love and advice to three generations. I wonder if Pew Research is ready to study our uniqueness.
Yes, Mr. Cardona mentions moments in his life that are challenging – and rewarding. Being part of the “triple decker sandwich generation” is ever more challenging and ever more rewarding. We Boomer grandparents have history in the making spanning nearly a century and a family ever expanding bringing more
Joy,
Mema
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