This Grandma recently went to an event with a long (we never say old) friend where the entire female audience seemed to be of Boomer age. As we looked around we noticed that those women who were Floridians had colored hair, dressed younger versus the New Englanders who mostly were gray haired and preppy. We discussed that the Floridians seemed to have had “work” done to look younger too. There was a marked difference. We agreed that it must have something to do with “sun belt” living which is more outdoors and active. We Floridians do not have a long cold winter to cover our hair with hats, hibernate and eat comfort food around a fire. Difference in northern versus southern culture was our conclusion.
I thought nothing further about this dichotomy until the Renee Zellwegger and Frances McDormand dichotomy. I guess Ebola and Isis need some competition in the news, or maybe we just need some comic relief.
Frances McDormand was quoted in People Magazine as against plastic surgery and more. She said:
“Something happened culturally: No one is supposed to age past 45 – sartorially, cosmetically, attitudinally,” said McDormand, who is married to director Joel Coen.
“Everybody dresses like a teenager. Everybody dyes their hair. Everybody is concerned about a smooth face.”
Everyone except McDormand. . . . In fact, she believes there is much to respect about the aging process. Looking older should signify “that you are someone who, beneath that white hair, has a card catalog of valuable information,” she explained.
Then, also all over the news media, Renee Zellwegger appeared at some red carpet event looking totally different, apparently having had extensive “work” done. Yes, she does look different and plastic surgery is the cause, if you believe the media hype. She also spoke to People magazine and said, “I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.”
Does hair color and attitude toward aging define us Boomer Grandmas? I am beginning to think, as usual, media starts us on the path and we are creating controversy where there should not be any.
We should be independent enough as Boomer Grandmas to choose what we want, and feel comfortable with the choices we make. We should be secure enough as Boomer Grandmas not to judge those who make different choices.
One of the great advantages of long years with “a card catalog of valuable information” is finally understanding that we are free to be who we want to be. Who cares if someone chooses gray or blond hair. Who cares if someone chooses Botox or more or not.
We define ourselves not by what others define for us. If there is a lesson from the two film stars, that is it. Their independence to do as they wish shines through. That is the corner I am in–the independence corner. I am proud to call my friends independent in their choices too. I frankly do not care if they have gray hair or not, or have had plastic surgery or one of the variety of fillers or not. It is the depth of their character and the warmth of their heart that touches me.
I personally do not need gray hair to seem or feel wise. I know I have the experience of long years. For me, being somewhat blond, dressing and feeling youthful, and having had “work” done brings this Grandma
Joy,
Mema
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