Sometimes characters in television shows come up with lines that remain with you. The female Black lieutenant in Law and Order came up with the line, “you are only as happy as your unhappiest child.” I have repeated this saying more times than I can remember. So true. It does not matter how old your child is. If your child is unhappy, you are unhappy. Now we can add a layer with grandchildren. If your grandchild is unhappy, you are unhappy.
Roselli and Isles is a favorite show of mine. Roselli’s mother, Angela, can be a helicopter mom, annoying at times, but at other times she appears wise. One of those wise times came when she said, “In one life we live a lot of different lives.”
It was a line that gave me pause. . . .In one life we live a lot of different lives.
It came at a time when Grandpa and I were looking through bins of old photographs, which made it more poignant. I am not the person I was in those photographs and I am glad of it. So much of our life we are becoming the person we will be, with trials and tribulations along the way.
Being at a comfortable point in life, I can remember without pain those trials and tribulations. Building a strong partnership, raising children, developing a career, making lifelong friends, getting the reward of grandchildren, we live a lot of different lives. It is what we make of those lives that molds a lifetime.
When we are young and going through the stages of life we are too busy to reflect on where we have been and where we are going. That is a pity. It would prevent a lot of heartache. As humans, our emotions are so powerful and sometimes stop us from realizing that what we mourn or feel we are missing is ultimately so unimportant. Sometimes we forget to just breathe, go with the flow, let it be.
Over a decade and a half of yoga has taught me to be present, to rest the mind and body, and reflect on the small daily joys of life. We live a lot of different lives. What I did not expect is that the present life of a Boomer grandma is the best one yet. The wisdom of life experience, a strong lifelong partnership, close long (we never say old) friends, and most important, good health to enjoy it, are the rewards of living a lot of different lives, and surviving them all.
And remembering to take time to enjoy life. What is difficult now is the realization that one must experience life to understand, and so much of this we cannot impart in the parents of our grandchildren or grandchildren. They may have to learn it on their own, too. We cannot pass this on to a child or grandchild who may be unhappy. It is part of living life.
Angela Roselli is right. It takes living a lot of different lives to appreciate the time you have left and what is really important. To good health and time to enjoy it with
Joy,
Mema
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