Our grandchildren take selfies every time we are with them. We find the grandchildren have used them to create wallpaper on our various electronics. We come home to surprise selfies on our phones. Their skill astounds us. Their quick selfie is perfect in every way. Of course, the grandchildren look perfect, with perfect smiles and angle. They make it look so easy.
Then, our precious only granddaughter was given a school project to create a family tree with photographs of her entire family. We were given the job of forwarding selfies. With our busy lives, we waited until the final day was upon us. The mother of our granddaughter threatened that Grandpa and I would be included as drawn figures. That would not be acceptable at all. This Grandma, who makes annual photo albums for each grandchild, kept bins of our children’s papers and projects,which bins now sit in their attics (FYI grandchildren when you read this post when you are older, know that you can see your mothers’ school years from preschool through high school in the papers saved by your grandmother for you to view). I expect this family tree project may end up in a bin for our granddaughter’s children, and we surely do not want to be stick figures for our great grandchildren!
So, the last morning I had, I put on makeup extra carefully and took extra effort with my hair. I took a selfie. It was awful. I could not imagine I selfied (if that is even a word) so poorly. Eight poses with various backgrounds later, I was getting late for work and no happier with the product selfie. In desperation, I emailed two barely acceptable selfies. (FYI great grandchildren, I looked better in person).
Later that evening, I found out grandpa had an identical experience. He also hated his selfies. (FYI great grandchildren, he looked better in person). He, rather cleverly, said there must be an art to taking a good selfie and he bet our grandchildren could teach us this as they do with all electronics.
It is too late for this grandma and grandpa, but not for the grandparents who read this post. Your grandchildren are sure to have a school project requiring your selfie. Or, your grandchildren may want to take a selfie with you, and preparation seems to be required for a good selfie.
As a joke, I googled “how to take a good selfie.” Oh My God! There is so much information available, and it is an art. The websites say, in this age of selfies, it is important to know how to take a good selfie. I am upset I did not check this out before my selfie was due.
There is an entire primer on selfies.. It seems that experimentation with angle, smile, pose is required, but all recommendations are that you do not take the picture head on, and preferably from above looking down at ones’ face. You guessed it, our selfies are head on.
It also seems that each of our eight or so poses is not enough experimentation. Dozens of tries are required to find the perfect symmetry in your facial angle. Really. Or, you, too, will take an awful selfie.
The best “advanced” advice came from the selfie queen, Kim Kardashian.
Whether you like her or not, her selfies ARE perfect. Yes, grandchildren, this grandmother admires the work ethic and willingness of the Kardashians to allow us into their family culture, having made an acceptable life for themselves despite the intrusions of cameras into their homes. . . . And made tens of millions of dollars. Perfecting selfies in this decade is a career that makes one a lot of money. Take a look and take heed.
In my previous post that the new baby names for 2015 came from Instagram filters, I now understand that there are actual filters one must use to perfect the selfie. In our decade, there are those who experiment with them all for hours at end. See post for list of filters and what each filter can do.
Too much work. However, I am going to call my granddaughter first thing in the morning to see if I can change the selfie to a new selfie. If so, I will practice saying the required word “prune” as I take selfies more “professionally” now that the art of selfies has revealed itself to this amateur Boomer grandma. I might even share with grandpa. After all, both of us should be in appropriate selfies for posterity with
Joy,
Mema
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