Recently statistics have surfaced that stay-at-home moms and stay-at-home dads have increased in number. It seems that this is partly due to choice and partly due to the economy and lack of jobs. Of course, the high cost of child care has to be factored in. Also, recently, this Grandma has heard several professional working parents lament that their children are increasingly questioning why the moms and dads have to work.
I wonder if these are connected–the rise of stay at home parents for the children and grandchildren to notice. When the vast majority of all parents worked it was not as noticeable. The age seems to be seven to eleven when the children notice that their moms or dads aren’t volunteering to make copies in the school office. This is a true issue!
Questioning moms and dads continues with why aren’t you picking me up from school? Why can’t you be home when I get home from school to make me my snack? Why, why, why must you work. . . .
This Grandma is into telling children and grandchildren the truth. . . .to a degree. They are too young to understand the ups and downs of the economy and the consequences thereof. They should hear:
I work so that we have the security of a roof over our heads and food on our table.
I work so that we are able to afford to send you to dance, karate, summer camp.
I work so that we can buy you presents.
I work because that is what is expected of all of us. You have a job. Your job is school and to use your best efforts at school. I use my best efforts at work.
I work because I enjoy my work. You enjoy your work at school and I also enjoy mine.
I work because it makes me feel self worth. Doing your best at school makes you feel good too.
It is not too early to instill values of a good work ethic in our children and grandchildren. I hear that employers are lamenting the millenials who are supposedly going to have multiple jobs in their twenties and thirties. The employers do not understand how to keep them as employees and how to motivate them to work. I do not understand. They mostly had working parents. Maybe the parents did not effectively communicate the message or be the example of a good work ethic. Maybe they were just too tired to respond. Maybe the economy changed so fast that their work ethic was not recognized for its value.
It is also important to instill that being a stay-at-home parent is work, and show that our society values all of its members. I told my oldest grandson about the statistics that working parents spend more time with their children than stay-at-home parents! We talked about quality of time versus quantity of time too. At ten years old, he said he now understands more.
Children can understand the message of why we work. Our grandchildren understood when I explained why I work when some of their other friends’ grandparents do not work. They have accepted the message, which I reinforce with “good job,” the new mantra to praise their work, and as I lavish visit presents upon them with
Joy,
Mema
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